At this stage on my path I have found myself with complete control of almost every aspect of my environment, frequency and vibrations.
I often find it difficult to not abuse it on the vices of my past life. Also it seems my past life is the life I am living at this moment.
I am in a very comfortable position in my career path and spiritual life and mentally I am displeased. It seems to be like lower vibrations are begging me to indulge in altercations that mean me no harm but that stagnation of interaction is more excruciating than ever before. Lost or found in a place where nobody believes in becoming true to self.
It seems i have been enlightened for years but I have been dimming my own light to allow my peers shine. And I have pursued my lifestyle of trueness and wellbeing and it only seems to hurt the people around me.
I am in an environment of anger, solitude and mental self abuse and I have the tools to heal my surroundings but I may deplete my life in the act of doing so. Calm I often am not. Anxious of the inevitable outcome of bringing enlightenment to fruition by all means necessary but I find myself to feel unworthy, overwhelmed, overly patient and not patient enough. Grateful and yet prideful of my success. I wish to speak of other things other than my personal issues and pursue the development of us all but I fear if I may leave myself behind helping others. Am I selfish of my gifts and blessings? Am I overly cautious or paranoid.
I am enlightened and I fear I may blow my light.
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